When it comes to finding a job, who you know really does matter. A lot of roles never even make it to job boards—they’re part of the “hidden job market,” filled through referrals, word-of-mouth, or personal connections. No one knows exactly how many jobs get filled this way, but it’s a big enough chunk that if you’re only applying to public listings, you’re probably missing out, especially in competitive or specialized fields.
Even when jobs are posted, connections can still make a big difference. The hiring process is chaotic—recruiters sort through piles of applications, and standing out can be tough. A referral helps you cut through the noise, signaling to employers that you’re a solid, trustworthy candidate. And since hiring managers tend to be risk-averse, a recommendation from someone they already know can make a big difference.
A good network isn’t just about knowing people, though, it’s about finding opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise and making the job search less of a grind. But how do you actually build a network, especially if you’re starting from scratch? And once you have one, how do you use it in a way that feels natural and actually helps your career?
This guide will walk you through how to make real connections, tap into your network effectively, and find great opportunities without feeling too awkward or transactional.
Reframe networking
When you think about networking, what comes to mind? Awkward small talk? Forced interactions? The pressure to “sell yourself”? It’s easy to see networking as transactional or uncomfortable, especially early in your career. But in reality, networking isn’t confined to collecting contacts or schmoozing at events—it’s about building relationships, learning from others, and opening doors to opportunities you might not have found otherwise.
Instead of approaching networking as a chore, think of it as a way to connect with interesting people and gain insight into different career paths. Many of the most valuable conversations happen organically through casual chats, shared interests, or thoughtful questions at an event. You don’t have to be extroverted or self-promotional; you just need curiosity and a willingness to listen.
Build out from people you know
Your existing connections are super valuable–if you use them. Friends, family, former colleagues, mentors, or classmates are already part of your network, and they’re the most likely to want to help you. Keeping these people updated on your career or checking in from time to time can lead to unexpected opportunities. You don’t need to ask for anything specific upfront; just keeping in touch and sharing your goals is a good approach. And when you are ready to reach out, here are two sample messages you can send (though we’d recommend adding some personalization):
“Hey [Name], hope you’re doing well! I wanted to reach out because I’m currently exploring new opportunities in [industry/field], and I’d love to hear your thoughts. No pressure at all, but if you have any advice or know of any opportunities, I’d really appreciate it. Either way, I’d love to catch up and hear what you’ve been up to!”
“Hey [name], how are you? I wanted to reach out because I’m just starting to explore career opportunities in [field or industry], and given your work in this space, I thought you might have some helpful insights. If you have the time, I’d love to hear more about your own career trajectory or any quick guidance you might have for me as I look for opportunities.”
These messages keep it casual, open-ended, and don’t put too much pressure on the recipient, inviting a conversation rather than making a direct request.
Leverage second-degree connections
Your network isn’t just the people you know—it’s also the people they know. After catching up with friends or existing connections, you could also ask things like:
- “Is there anyone else you’d recommend I talk to about [industry/topic]?”
- “I’d love to learn more about [specific company/role]—do you know anyone there who might be open to a quick chat?”
- “I recently came across [company/role] and it looks like a great fit for my skills and interests. I noticed you’re connected with [Person’s Name] who works there—would you be open to making an introduction? No worries if not, but I’d really appreciate any insight you have on the company!”
Requests like these are more direct but still low-pressure. It makes it easy for the person to say yes, but it also gives them the option to decline.
Tap into alumni networks
If you’re a recent graduate or part of an alumni network, utilize it! Reach out to fellow alumni working in your desired field. They often appreciate connecting with someone from their alma mater. You can say:
“Hi [Name], I noticed we both graduated from [University]. I’m currently exploring roles in [industry] and would love to hear about your experience. Would you be open to a brief chat?”
Alumni connections can be particularly helpful since they often share a common ground and willingness to support fellow graduates.
Be strategic about reaching out to new people
Reaching out to people you don’t know as well (sometimes called cold outreach) is a big part of networking and establishing meaningful connections, especially when you’re trying to make an impact in a specific field. But not all outreach is created equal. Many people juggle a flood of messages, so being thoughtful and strategic can make the difference between getting a response and getting ignored. Based on feedback from people who receive a lot of these requests, here’s how to craft a message that stands out and actually gets a reply.
Explain why you’re reaching out
When reaching out to someone you don’t know, it’s important to provide context so your message doesn’t feel random or intrusive. Start by mentioning how you came across them—whether someone recommended them, you read something they wrote, or you found their work particularly relevant. Doing a bit of research beforehand can help you articulate why they’re the right person to connect with. Referencing something specific they’ve done or engaging with their work in a thoughtful way can also set you apart. This shows respect for their time and also makes it easier for them to engage in a meaningful conversation, ultimately increasing your chances of getting a response.
Make a case for why it’s worth their time
When reaching out to someone you don’t know well, it’s important to show why your request is worth their time. Busy people are more likely to say yes if they can quickly see the value of the conversation.
One way to do this is by briefly mentioning relevant work or experiences that show you’re serious and have a clear focus. This isn’t about self-promotion—your background should speak for itself without over-explaining. It’s just about providing enough context so that the person understands why their insight could make a real difference. By connecting your needs with their expertise in a meaningful way, you help them see how the conversation could be valuable for both of you. When they understand why their input matters, they’ll be more likely to take the time to respond.
Make requests that are easy to respond to
One of the best ways to get a response is to make your request clear and focused. Instead of a vague “Can you give me career advice?” try something more specific, like: “I’m considering a transition into policy work and would love to hear about your experience at [organization] to understand which skills are most valuable in that field.”
Similarly, avoid broad, open-ended questions that can feel overwhelming. Instead of asking, “What’s the best advice for starting a career in [field]?”, consider questions like:
- “What do you think made [specific project] successful?”
- “I’m deciding between these two career paths—could you share any trade-offs you’ve seen?”
- “What advice would you give to someone looking to network effectively in [specific field or industry]?”
These targeted questions are easier to answer and often lead to more actionable insights. Plus, they show you’ve put thought into your request, making it more likely the person will want to help.
Keep it concise and show gratitude
No one wants to read a wall of text! Keep your outreach short—just a few paragraphs with a quick intro, a clear reason for reaching out, and a specific request. The more direct and focused you are, the easier it is for someone to reply. And when responding feels easy, you’re much more likely to get the conversation you’re hoping for. It’s also good to keep in mind that expressing gratitude can go a long way. A simple “Thanks so much for taking the time to read my message!” shows that you value their time without making direct demands.
Show up to things that interest you
To increase your chances of meeting people who can help you, you can try something we call targeted serendipity. This means attending events and gatherings that genuinely spark your interest—places where you’re likely to naturally meet the kinds of people you want to connect with.
Choose events that align with your goals
Instead of spreading yourself thin by hitting every networking opportunity, choose events that resonate with your career interests or personal passions. Field-specific events like conferences, panel discussions, and innovation competitions allow you to connect with professionals at the forefront of your industry. Workshops and courses, such as coding bootcamps or design sprints, provide both skill development and networking opportunities with like-minded peers. Cause-oriented gatherings, like climate justice meetings or community-driven volunteer projects, help you meet others who share your values. Even interest-based socials, like book clubs or co-working spaces, can lead to valuable connections in a relaxed setting.
Small recurring events often offer more depth than one-off conferences, as they allow relationships to develop naturally over time. For instance, participating in a weekly discussion group or community volunteer team helps you connect with familiar faces, providing the opportunity to build stronger, more lasting relationships.
Have more meaningful interactions
Once you’re at the event, think less about “networking” and more about genuine engagement.
- Ask thoughtful questions. Rather than pushing your agenda, focus on learning about others by asking things like, “What brought you here today?” “What’s a recent project that excites you?” or “How did you get started in [industry]?”
- Share your interests subtly. If you’re in a transition phase, or exploring a new field, mention it casually. For example, “I’m currently exploring opportunities in [field], so I’m attending events like this to learn more.” This way, you introduce your goals without making it sound transactional.
- Recognize the value in casual conversations. You really never know what talking to the right person might do. Someone you meet at a cause-area meetup may know someone at your dream workplace. The person next to you in a class might have a lead on a job opening. Keep your mind open and pay attention to how people might intersect with your goals.
Initiating conversations can feel challenging without practice, so try to set some concrete goals ahead of time—like trying to talk to at least three new people before leaving.
Follow up and grow connections
Making a connection is a great start, but the real value comes from maintaining and growing that relationship over time. Instead of letting a great conversation fizzle out, take a moment to follow up. A quick message the next day can go a long way, whether it’s simply saying you enjoyed chatting or connecting on LinkedIn to keep the door open. Something as simple as “I really enjoyed our conversation at [event]—let’s stay in touch!” can make a difference.
Staying engaged doesn’t have to feel forced or transactional! If you come across an article, event, or job opportunity that aligns with their interests, sharing it is an easy way to keep the connection alive. When it feels natural, you can suggest a next step, like catching up at another event or continuing the conversation. That said, it’s best not to overdo it or overwhelm someone with messages. Instead of putting them on the spot with a direct ask, try a more open-ended approach like, “Let me know if you’d be interested in catching up sometime.”
Remember, networking is a long game
Networking won’t always show an immediate payoff. Not every message will get a response, and not every introduction will turn into something bigger—but that doesn’t mean the effort is wasted or that it has to do with you personally. Some conversations may lead to great opportunities, while others might simply be interesting chats, and that’s okay!
The goal is to think long-term rather than expecting instant results. The people you reach out to today might become mentors, collaborators, or advocates years down the line. The more you show up, contribute, and stay curious, the more naturally your network will grow. Focus on staying in touch, offering help when you can, and keeping the conversation going. Relationships take time to develop, but when you approach networking with genuine interest rather than a transactional mindset, you’ll be surprised at how often things come full circle.
And remember, while a strong network can be a great asset, it’s not the only way to move forward in your career. If you’re just starting to build your network, there are other strategies you can use to find opportunities. It’s all about combining different approaches.
